Discussions with Sonam

Over the course of this project, my partner and I have communicated via email and instant messaging. Here are two of our IM chats.
Chat 1

Caroline says:
Hello Sonam!
sonam says:
hi caroline
sonam says:
so you finally made it
Caroline says:
yes
Caroline says:
Can I ask you some more questions about yourself?
sonam says:
ofcourse
sonam says:
please go ahead ..
Caroline says:
age?
sonam says:
24...but in less than two weeks time i'll be turning 25
sonam says:
how about you?
Caroline says:
17
sonam says:
oh you're very young =)
Caroline says:
how many years of english have you taken?
sonam says:
all the schools in Bhutan are english medium
Caroline says:
I see. have you always lived in Bhutan?
sonam says:
so i've been studying english for about 20 years now
Caroline says:
20 years!
Caroline says:
wow
sonam says:
hehe yes
sonam says:
that's since i started going to school
Caroline says:
are you attending any post graduate schooling?
sonam says:
well yes, i've pretty much lived in Bhutan but i went to college in India in 2001...so i was living in India for 3 years during that time
sonam says:
and after that 5 months in Hawaii....just recently last year...otherwise i've been here in Bhutan
Caroline says:
you've been to hawaii? did you like it?
sonam says:
yes loved it, i have never seen water as blue as the waters in Hawaii..i think you'll agree with me on that
Caroline says:
absolutely
sonam says:
it;s beautiful...and i'm not just saying this but i felt like i was home in hawaii the minute i landed there...the people are so friendly
Caroline says:
I'm glad you enjoyed the aloha spirit.
sonam says:
i'm planning to apply for my masters degree next fall
Caroline says:
oh?
sonam says:
maybe if i'm lucky i might come to UH
Caroline says:
what are your academic interests?
sonam says:
yes absolutely...i think i found a lot of similarities between Hawaii and Bhutan...especially in the aloha spirit..
Caroline says:
I hear visiting bhutan is difficult...
Caroline says:
Are tourists allowed?
sonam says:
i'm very fond of media and communications...but with most Bhutanese ...things happen by chance...when i was in school, we didn't have career conseling services or anything like that. so it was very difficult to make a choice of subject to study.
Caroline says:
how interesting!
sonam says:
so in high school i landed up studying commerce and accounting which was very boring...so when i went to college, i took up english literature because i loved to write...and after graduation, again looking for a job and finding one that suits your interest is even more difficult..so most of us land up doing jobs that come to us...and not necessarily something that we would like to do
sonam says:
but i've been lucky because i found a rather interesting job...i work in an organization that advocates for the rights of women and children in Bhutan
sonam says:
and it;s a very challenging cause..
sonam says:
Sorry caroline i'll get back to your question about visiting Bhutan
Caroline says:
no problem
Caroline says:
you job does sound quite interesting
sonam says:
it's not very difficult to travel in Bhutan if you have the means ..haha...our toursim policy is quite strict...it has a limit to the number of tourists coming to Bhutan in a year...and basically...the government is trying to preserve and promote Bhutanese culture..so controlling the number of tourists is one of their ways...of doing so. Also a tourisit visiting Bhutan has to pay 200 US $ per day
sonam says:
but that includes accomodation and travel
sonam says:
but there is also another alternative
sonam says:
if a Bhutanese sends you an invitation to visit Bhutan, then you don't have to abide to that policy of paying 200$...
sonam says:
so it's actually cool...
Caroline says:
That is a very unique policy
sonam says:
well yeah i think it is..
Caroline says:
Do you think it has worked to perserve the culture?
Caroline says:
is your connection ok?
sonam says:
well...now with globalisation goign at break neck speed...( excuse my choice of words!) changes like global culture is inevitable...but for the Bhutanese, our culture is our biggest strength...Bhutan is a very very small country, and economically also we are not a rich country...so there is every chance that the country might fall into the abyss of global culture and we just might land up have a c
sonam says:
culture that is an amalgamation of many cultures and have nothing to define us with who we are.
sonam says:
so ..for the Bhutanese people culture is every7thing
sonam says:
it defines us with who we are and what makes us, us.
Caroline says:
that is a solid answer!
sonam says:
yes i think the connection is fine...and yes, the government policy to preserve and promote culture always helps.
sonam says:
to mitigate the influx of global changes
sonam says:
I hope i'm not going too fast
Caroline says:
of course not
sonam says:
global infuence i meant
Caroline says:
I'm not a great IM'er
sonam says:
but you're doing great , i don't use this instant messaging...most of the time either.
Caroline says:
thanks.before we look at the folk story, could you tell me a little bit about Bhutanese culture?
sonam says:
sure....okay let me see how i can begin
sonam says:
if you come to Bhutan, the first thing that you will notice apart from the mountains will be the architecture , Bhutan has preserved it;s architecture and almost all houses have mainted the look and style that has been there since long long ago
Caroline says:
sounds lovely
sonam says:
so for a minute you might feel like you've entered a medieval time
sonam says:
era
sonam says:
and the second thing that you will notice is the dress
sonam says:
Bhutanese wear their national dress everyday ...it's called "kira" for women and "gho" for men
sonam says:
maybe i can send you a picture later
Caroline says:
that would be great if you could
sonam says:
and...in almost every Bhutanese home, you will find an altar room, where there are statues of ancient Buddhist figures like the Buddha, and other englighted figures
sonam says:
rituals like offerings and prayers t the gods for the weelbeing of the people, the crops...is a part of the daily existence of Bhutanese people
sonam says:
so you will find many colourful prayer flags and temlpes, monastries dotting the hills and mountains of Bhutan
sonam says:
i hope that gives you an idea of our culture...but you have any specific question, you can ask me
Caroline says:
Yes, that was a good description.
sonam says:
okay
Caroline says:
More specifically, are there any cultural values expressed through the folk story?
sonam says:
well yes, for instance the faith and reverence in god ...Bhutanese people are very spiritual
sonam says:
and the folk story expresses the buddhist values that lies in every bhutanese
Caroline says:
oh?
sonam says:
it kind of goes in line with the maxim " do unto others what you would have them do unto you"
Caroline says:
the golden rule
sonam says:
and there is another bhutanese saying that if you harm others, you end up harming urself and vice versa
Caroline says:
ahh yes, I can see that in this story
sonam says:
i don't mean to imply that every bhutanese is spiritual and good hearted...that is impossible...but generally these are principles that we as Bhutanese belive in
Caroline says:
I see
Caroline says:
I was wondering, what is the bhutanese concept of "wealth"? Is it material, spiritual, other?
Caroline says:
*conception
sonam says:
i guess that is relative and depends from person to person, but generally it's spiritual wealth..and even personally i strife to be more spiritual every day
sonam says:
lets say i work towards being more spirutal
sonam says:
every minute of my life.
Caroline says:
that is a great outlook
sonam says:
it might sound funny to you...and likely so...haha...but like in the folk story..praying to the gods to give you children
sonam says:
Bhutanese people that it actually works...and we also believe that if you pray to the gods in times of trouble , in times of delimma...you actually get answers...
sonam says:
and there have been instances where a childless couple have concieved after praying to the gods
Caroline says:
That sounds really neat, and I can imagine how influential religion must be in bhutan
sonam says:
there is in particular a monastary in western Bhutan called " Chimey Lhakhang"...and most childless couples visit the monastery because it;s belived that if you visit the monasteray and pay reverence to the local deity there...you concieve
sonam says:
and there has been living examples
sonam says:
yes religion forms anoher crux of the Bhutanese
sonam says:
infact the religious head of the nation shares the same platform as the king
Caroline says:
really
sonam says:
yes
sonam says:
the religious head is known as the " Je Khenpo"
sonam says:
and he wears the same scarf as the kind...yellow
sonam says:
king
Caroline says:
ahh, so is clothing a sign of power?
Caroline says:
(in some instances)?
sonam says:
not a sign of power...but a sign of revenrence...because here in Bhutan, you can't talk to your parents like you're talking to friends..it;s considered disrespecful
sonam says:
not just your parents but all elders
Caroline says:
a hierarchy of respect?
sonam says:
uum...yes you can say that
sonam says:
but again...nowadays with modern families...it;s not all that strict
sonam says:
but innately..that is how it is so
sonam says:
and even now, most parents live with their children
sonam says:
even when they age
sonam says:
for instance we don't have old age homes..in Bhutan and i don't think we will ever have it
Caroline says:
so familial bonds are tight?
sonam says:
yep
Caroline says:
would you say Bhutan is a collectivist society (vs individualist)?
sonam says:
uum yes i would think so...because Bhutanese people love and re4spect their king ...very much and of this i can assure you of...we look upto the king so much and every citizen is bonded together has Bhutanese in this respect
sonam says:
of this i am absolutely sure
Caroline says:
I see
Caroline says:
Oh sonam I am so sorry, I forgot I must go out to a family dinner tonight. I’ll have to go, but can we chat again in a few days?
sonam says:
ofcourse...
sonam says:
anytime..you just let me know when you are free and i can work out the timing from my side aswell
Caroline says:
alright, sounds good
Caroline says:
until then,
sonam says:
i hope it;s been helpful
sonam says:
and not too boring for you
Caroline says:
very very helpful, not boring AT ALL
sonam says:
okay that's great then
Caroline says:
bye bye
sonam says:
enjoy your dinner then
Caroline says:
thanks
sonam says:
byee, see you soon!


Chat 2

Caroline says:
Hello!
Caroline says:
I am so sorry for the consufion
Caroline says:
*confusion
sonam says:
hey
sonam says:
so you are here!
sonam says:
what was the confusion?
Caroline says:
Apparently we were both online early but on different chat programs
Caroline says:
I don't know why I was using google talk
sonam says:
oh
sonam says:
anyway now that you are here, that's fine
sonam says:
so how was your spring break?
Caroline says:
excellent
Caroline says:
very relaxing
sonam says:
nice
Caroline says:
How has your work been?
sonam says:
uum very busy
sonam says:
i was in a training the whole of last week
Caroline says:
training?
sonam says:
yes, something like a workshop?...we were trained on how to prepare for education in emergencies
sonam says:
emergencies like natural disasters...earth quake, fire, landslides, floods...which Bhutan is very prone to
Caroline says:
how interesting, and neccesary I gather
sonam says:
it was indeed
Caroline says:
did you get a chance to think about those questions I emailed earlier?
sonam says:
yep
sonam says:
let me refer to it again
Caroline says:
thanks
sonam says:
so why did i select this particular story?...like i mentioned earlier...it was just something that i could get hold of in electronic print...i can't say it;s my favourite...but at the same time , most of our folk tales are written on similar themes
sonam says:
that is woven with Buddhist principles
sonam says:
and how devotion and faith can guide you to lead a content and peaceful life
Caroline says:
ahh yes
sonam says:
and... why the girl agreed to hide in the box? as i understand, in most Bhutanese familes, particularly more so in the old days, women were generally regarded as home makers and the husbands would work outside( in other words meaning bread earners) so wives would obey their husbands...
sonam says:
this is but my personal opinion,
sonam says:
but it is true that socio cultural perceptions do regard women as home makers
Caroline says:
Is the role of women nowadays in Bhutan generally submissive to men?
sonam says:
no not at all..
Caroline says:
thats good
sonam says:
and gender inequality although is present in all societies, it is comparatively less in Bhutan
sonam says:
not to say it does not exist
sonam says:
regarding the overall message of the story
sonam says:
again it revolves around Buddhist faith , that if you have full devotion and faith in your guru(guide, teacher) from whom you seek inspiration, then it;s inevitable that good will be yours.
Caroline says:
Ahh yes, I see that.
sonam says:
if you do good with true intentions, then good will be yours...like the cylce of Karma...i don't know if you're fimiliar with that
sonam says:
the circle of life>
sonam says:
if you do a bad deed today, it;s inevitable that you will have to bear the consequences in the future
Caroline says:
What ever goes around comes around?
sonam says:
that's exactly riight
sonam says:
Ms. Shigemistu said that you might have questions to ask about me
sonam says:
in her e-mail
sonam says:
or depending on whatever suits you better, i'm here to take any questions
Caroline says:
yes, I've got many questions
sonam says:
that's fine, i'm happy to help in anyway
Caroline says:
It seems that the old couple puts a tremendous amount of faith in the green Chenresig, because they are willing to marry their daughter to a complete stranger. Is this devotion characteristic of Bhutanese people, or you peronally?
sonam says:
that's a good question
sonam says:
Today people percieve Buddhism in different ways. scietifically , Buddhism is a way of life, and at the same time it is also a religion with religious practices like rituas, ceremonies and prayers. modern and educated people would certainly not be like the old couple, but having said that...most uneduated rural people are blind when it comes to devotion and although now a days , i don't think any
sonam says:
couple with reasoning would marry off their daughter to the first stranger who knocks at their door, but in the old days, i am sure they did.
Caroline says:
interesting
Caroline says:
what do you mean "blind when it comes to devotion "?
sonam says:
meaning without reasoning, complete faith
Caroline says:
Ahh yes, I see this trend in my country too.
sonam says:
yes and everywhere with all religions it;s the same
Caroline says:
Religion is quite elusive to me, an interesting concept I don't feel I can grasp having not grown up practicing any particular faith
Caroline says:
Especially after a course in existentialism, I can't see how anyone could have the faith of that old couple
Caroline says:
Another question I wanted to ask you is what is your typical day like, from the time you rise to bedtime?
sonam says:
sorry the connection is bad, my typical day...well i get up at 6:30 am...and after washing up, i make daily offering at the altar...and then i do my daily prayers...after that it';s getting ready for work...and work starts 9 and ends at 5...so after that i would normally go home...but occasionally i do hang out with friends at a pub or karoake bar..and dancing at weekends
Caroline says:
fun!
sonam says:
discotheques are sprouting in the capital city
sonam says:
it;s very [popular here
sonam says:
and ofcoruse in the evenings i have my radio show
Caroline says:
which I would love to hear sometime
sonam says:
and on saturday morning, i volunteer and teach English to the monks
Caroline says:
that's a noble cause, you sound like a busy person.
sonam says:
yes, i haven;t forgotten about the radio recording. as it seems,. my boss is a bit uncomfortable as most of the music we play is western and we don't have the copy right to the songs, and as long as it doesn't go on air outside Bhutan, it;s fine
sonam says:
but if i can, i can send you a recording but only i'm afraid it can't be uploaded on a website
sonam says:
or put on air
Caroline says:
that is totally understandable
sonam says:
yes, i do try to keep myself busy as i'm not married and unlike in the west, everything moves at a snail's pace in Bhutan
sonam says:
we have all the time in the world it seems
Caroline says:
I noticed that in the movie I recently watched
sonam says:
so i try to make use of it productively...and that way it gives meaning to me
sonam says:
oh, which movie was it?
Caroline says:
Travellers and Magicians
sonam says:
oh that's great
Caroline says:
it was very cool
sonam says:
unfortunately i haven;t watched it
Caroline says:
I was blown away by the breathtaking landscape!
Caroline says:
Which I'm sure you get to appreciate everyday
sonam says:
yes, i can imagine ..most tourists here tell me the same but i think nothing beats the blue waters of Hawaii !
Caroline says:
ahh yes, I feel lucky too
sonam says:
yes definately
Caroline says:
oh my I'm afraid the time has flown by and I told my mom I'd be off to bed soon
sonam says:
that's fine caroline...it was great to talk to you again
sonam says:
and we can always conitnue later
Caroline says:
yes, thank you so much for the insight!
sonam says:
you're welcome, i'm glad i could help
Caroline says:
I'll email you and we can chat again I hope...
Caroline says:
for now, aloha
sonam says:
yes, anytime..
sonam says:
aloha. good night!